I was having a conversation with my mother in law Saturday about a picture of herself that she did not like. We all have them. Pictures that look great except for that lady in the middle or on the end or sandwiched between those other two cute girls. As women, we are often crazy self-critical. We don’t like our hair. Or our face without makeup. Or our boobs aren’t lifted enough. Or we need to lose a little weight. Or……

I remember a valuable lesson I learned on our honeymoon. We were sitting in our room getting ready to leave for dinner. I had on minimal makeup. I had left my hair wet and tried to make beach waves. I had on a sleeveless dress in March, and my cheeks were sun kissed pink. I was annoyed and ready for dinner and did not want him to keep snapping pictures of me. But, when we got home and I was going through pictures of our trip I saw it. Those pictures from that night. I’m sure I have too many layers of self criticism layered over them like an extra effect in photoshop. But I saw some of it. 

That girl in the photo. She was vulnerable. Her heart was springing with young love. Her dreams were coming true.

I hope he sees a warrior, a fighter. A woman who had learned hard lessons about trust and obedience and all that made his beautiful wife. It’s the same way I bet my father in law feels about the picture he had on his phone. She hates it because it represents a hard time in her life. But I’m guessing to him, the picture of her sitting on the end of an exam table at MD Andersen means a lot to him. He sees a fighter. Someone who was deep in the battle for her life, yet still had a big smile on her face. The mother of his children and everything about her is imprinted on their lives. He sees someone who by her faith and the way she lives it out spreads hope far and wide. But, we rarely see any of those things because we are looking at our outfits or posture or body shape. Let’s give ourselves the same grace goggles, we offer others when we look at pictures of ourselves. What do other people see when they look at us? Bravery. Honesty. Grace. Hospitality. Kind, giving, caring spirit. Mother. Lover. Hero. Friend.