This year I’m serving as the Chair of the Alumni Board of Ouachita Baptist University. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to serve this way and to connect and challenge other alumni. A couple weekends ago, I was on campus for our fall meeting and on the drive home I got to thinking. What would I tell my younger 18-year-old self? Or better yet, what would I write in a note to a freshman student at Ouachita?
Wait, before I jump in to that, they just released a new video teaching all how to say their name. If you are new to the area and this corner of the world, then let me introduce you to the college I call home!
Ouachita is an Indian word and it means “eastern border.” (see I did pay attention in history class) The river was the Easter Border of the Caddo Indian nation who inhabited this land. While Lewis and Clark were busy on their discovery of the Northern region of the Louisiana Purchase, a second group were sent up the “Washita River” to discover what is now Arkansas and Louisiana. While their journey is not as widely known for the geographical discoveries, their journal from the trip is fascinating and is actually part of the archives of Ouachita.
Ok, on to the letter to the freshman student entering Ouachita. (consider that intro extra credit!)
Dear Freshman at Ouachita,
- Don’t carry a purse. There is just no need and you will stick out like a sore thumb. Whether you buy one from the bookstore or Vera Bradley, you will want one of those little photo id holders with a keychain on it. You can throw it in your backpack or grab it when its time to make a Walmart run.
- Gurdon Light – No, it’s not a ploy of some upperclassmen guy to lure you away into the woods. Its a right of passage of going to school near Gurdon. Go see it, Unsolved Mysteries and the paranormal communities of the world think its a real thing and that has to mean something, right?
- Rely on your professors and ask for help. It’s hard. You are trying to be a grown up and prove that you can make it out in the big world on your own. But, it is hard. Being a grown-up is hard and going to college is hard. Its different than anything you have ever done up to this point. Its ok to not be good at it yet. Ask questions when you don’t understand. Don’t let it get to the midterm before you realize you have a problem. There may be no turning back and you will regret the low grade your first semester freshman year because you didn’t ask for help.
- Get involved. Say yes, just don’t make it a habit. When interest meetings are held, go. Discover what different clubs and organizations on campus do. Find the one that fits you and join. Just be careful about joining everything. But, start learning what its like to dream and achieve as well as disagree and improve. Both are life skills you will need.
- Do WOW. Its probably called something else now, but go to welcome week things and get involved. Some of my lifelong Ouachita friends are people I met in my Freshman Family Group. Everyone is awkward. Just roll with it.
- Go to all churches, find one plug in. Visit around and find a place to worship. You will not find a perfect church, because its run by and filled with people (we are not perfect). You will not find a church like your church at home, but you might find one that is better. Get involved and give back. Really, it’s so much easier to sleep in or go to Bedside Baptist, and that happens sometimes. But, go to church regularly. And, as a side note, don’t judge people who show up in the cafeteria in Sunday afternoon clothes because they skipped. The environment at Bedside Baptist is really casual!
- Don’t go home for a month. It sounds terrible and your mom will kill me for that. But, seriously. You need to make this your home. You need to see what people here do on Friday night, Saturday afternoon, Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. Invite your parents up for a football game (and to take you out to dinner). You are bound to have thought of something you left at home!
- Take the elective you are contemplating. Take it from a gal who graduated in 3.5 years. Yes, it was nice to save some money, but I took summer school. Being an adult is hard. Yes, you don’t have any homework, but you have a lot of other things that take its place. I wish I had taken the European Study Tour and not talked myself out of it since I didn’t know anyone going. Do you know how easy it is to make a friend? I wish I had more graphic design skills and more business skills. I wish I could write better and understand the world more. You do need Spanish when you get out of college and will come back to the things you talked about in Liberal Arts (thank you, Dr. Wight).
- Walk as much as you can, freshman 15 is real. Like really real. And, you may possibly have the Sophomore 16, Junior 15 and then the Senior slim down. But, really it takes way longer to find a parking spot if you drive, so just walk over there, even if you are off campus. You can call your mom on your way back to your apartment.
- This is the time your parents become your friend, listen to their wisdom and advice. (Its what comes on that phone call on the way back to your apartment or dorm room.) And, they need to know you are still alive and going to class.
- Play freshman intramurals. Its the only year you really don’t know anyone and a random group of friends will become your safe space. Spend time with them. Get to know them. Go drink Powerade in the Cafe after practice together. Again, this is a set of people that you will always remember. One of my “Dawg Pound” teammates now runs the Nation’s Press Room. These are real-life people that stick with you.
- Watch out for HSU boys. I don’t know, its supposed to be on the list. They are good people. They could be your co-worker someday, your boss or your spouse. They really are ok, you know except for a couple days a year!
- Don’t take all your clothes. First of all, you don’t have space for them. Second, you need a reason to go home. Third, your wardrobe is about to change to Walmart items and thrift store specials. Oh and wait to buy new clothes until you get a couple weeks in to school. Its too hot to wear “fall” clothes and you have no idea what crazy trend your friends are going to come up with. Last year, freshmen were wearing their mom’s jeans from their freshman years. You really may not wear anything you brought with you!
- Do TWIRP. Take different boys if you can, make it fun not serious. Seriously, take the pressure out of it and have fun. Don’t hate someone because of the events of this week, but don’t pass up on the fact that it might be your first date with your future spouse. But, gosh it is such a fun week, just do your homework in the afternoon and skip the nap.
- If you pledge make friends with people in other clubs. One step outside of 71998 and you will realize those names don’t mean anything to the rest of the world. But, being an Ouachita alumni is something you can talk to someone about no matter their year or affiliation. Run from stereotypes and be the exception.
- Get to know the girls (or guys if you are a dude) on your hall – seriously. There is nothing like being that close to 40 other people. You have an automatic built-in posse. When you are married, living on your own, or even just one roommate, you cannot fill a car or do a CDA (campus drive around) simply by gathering people as you run out the door. Besides, there are more people than live in your room or the gals in the room next door who always leave their towels on the bathroom floor. One of my best lifelong friends and a roommate came from just knowing some transfer girl lived down the hall.
- Be ok with confrontation. Your roommate will annoy you, work through it. You will have different cleaning styles, bedtime or morning routines. You will run in different circles and come from different backgrounds. These are the days you see the best of yourself and the worst of the environment you grew up in start to show. Work through it. Confrontation is a lifelong skill and you might as well start developing those now or you will have to break them later. Passive Aggressive does not work. Ignoring does not work. Saying, “hey can we talk about something,” or “will you help me understand,” are both good segways. And when in doubt, offer the benefit of the doubt.
- Soak in every moment, while you can. There is no other place like Arkadelphia, AR. You are laughing right now thinking all the negative, preconceived ideas you have about this town. Let me tell you to stop. It will never be as easy to build and live in community as you are about to experience. You will never find people so intentional about helping you succeed. You will not live in another community as a whole that will be so excited and refreshed to see you show up each semester, and on the Sunday after each holiday weekend. There is something about your presence in that town that makes it come alive. But, there is also something about that town that will make something in you come alive.
- Get over yourself. Whatever chip is on your shoulder, whatever unspoken expectations you have, whatever wall you are looking to kick over, just take a deep breath. This place loves you, cares about you, wants to see you succeed. And, they have spent the last 132 years preparing for the moment you will take hold of this campus. Live each day without regrets. Learn everything you can. Explore all the experiences that wait for you.
- Look up. It’s so easy to multi-task as we are walking. Look up. Usually, it’s our phone that is occupying our eye time but look up. Make eye contact. Smile and people. TAlk to the people across the table from you. And, save yourself the face plan into the McClellan glass doors or down the stairs in the Amphitheater. You will be better for it.
Yes, yes, these are the words I would say.
If you know someone who needs to be at Ouachita Baptist University next fall, let me know. Or, if they are in middle school or high school and you’d love to get them added to the mailing list, I’d love to make that connection happen. I had a set of Sunday School teachers who kept telling me about this college in Arkansas where they went to school and I tried to keep blowing them off. No way was I leaving Texas to go to Arkansas. Who would do a thing? Well, I’m glad my dad made that road trip because it changed my life!
What did I leave off? If you didn’t go to Ouachita, what would you add to the list?
