I’m going to go ahead and say now…you know i’m right!

I had no idea how much science goes in to the trick-or-treating process. You have to be home and ready at 5 or earlier so the kids can get out before dark. And, in some cities if you live on “Halloween Alley” you cant get to your street for hours. I also feel like there is a cycle to this halloween process.

birth to 5th grade – trick or treater

6th-8th grade – helper

9th-12th grade – too cool (for really anything in life!)

college – tip toeing on the “I really want candy but just last year when I was with my old friends, I was too cool for this”

20s before kids – waste of time…and why are all my favorite channels invaded by zombie and vampire movies

20s with kids – rush and get them ready so they can throw a fit and not really enjoy this costume bc its too scratchy

30s – drive to “the neighborhood” in the swagger wagon and let your kids knock on doors (at what age do you graduate from walking to the door with them, to standing at the end of the driveway, to sitting in the car while they get out?)

40s- you think its cute to see all the costumes and remember your kids

50s – its starts over and you do the whole process with your grandkids and then let them eat too much candy and then head home to leave them with their mama on a sugar high

60s- you sit in the front yard in your folding chair with the bowl in your lap and make the kid walk all the way over to you and then ask them what they are and make them say trick-or-treat before you even think about giving them 2 evenly distributed pieces of the the cheap candy you bought. You know kids dont like peppermints, right?

70s – you start giving prunes and peanuts and wonder why no one stops at your house any more

80s – you cant remember what day of the week it and and you keep mini candy bars around all year long because you want to give your grandkids something when they come see you or you want to bribe other kids to be your grandkids because those ungrateful little brats never show up.  And, you are curious why one random night in October there is a line of minivans down your street.  You check your calendar and remember oh yea, I knew I forgot something at the store today! 

I’m just saying.