Those are the two words that describe my diet. Last night I thought my mouth was on fire. Not the kind of hot like I ate a bite of hot soup and now my taste buds are scorched. Or, the type of hot that comes from getting a bite of the wrong jalapeno, but the burning that will never stop kind of hot.

You see, I have these fluoride trays that I have to use to help the enamel on my teeth do what it needs to do since the salivary gland is not producing as it should (yeah I did just say all that and not retype it to say the right thing a different way…I’m cool like that). If you have ever had whitening trays or any other device in this family that you put some form of liquid/paste in and then squish up over your teeth, you know that if the edges are not cut properly, they can cut your gums or mash on them and make them swell and make them hurt. Well, that happened to me this week. I still have all four wisdom teeth in my BIG MOUTH (no surprise there) so, that has been a bit of an irritation in the back. You know like when you stab your gum with a chip consuming the appetizer that most Mexican food restaurants serve. Yeah and then it swells and it is hard to brush your teeth and it feels weird…yeah, that’s what’s going on back there. Then, in the front, the mouth guard cut my gum, so there is like a spot where it is trying to heal.

Yeah, last night I put my mouth guards in like I’m supposed to and the minty fresh taste of the fluoride paste got in my cut. We are not talking “salt in a wound” kind of pain, we are talking FIRE! Not Hot Tamale fire, or 20 jalapenos on one nacho fire, not Hot buffalo wing sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings (If you even able to get that far). We are talking the kind where you want to take your gums out of your mouth and drowned them in the coldest water you can find. Yeah, it was not fun.

I had already decided no matter what they told me today, I was not going to use them until the cut healed. Thank goodness, the nurse today agreed. No more fluoride trays for a couple days.

Now, back to throat. My new medicine is kinda helping. The problem comes when it wears off, so I went today with a set of questions. You see about 9:00 pm, all the pains start mixing together…the burning cut, the sore throat, the hungry stomach and the fatigue…not a good mixture and I’m a whiny baby when I get tired…good thing I’ve been alone. So, the note pad came out last night when I got home:

How often can I use the numbing medicine?
Can I do something else between?
Can I use anbesol or chloraseptic spray?
I thought milk shakes and yogurt would be a good thing, but they are killing my throat? So, is cold not good?
Can I wait a few days to use my fluoride trays?
How long will this pain last after I’m finished with radiation?
Help it hurts! (i really did write that down…)

Here are some things I found out…
1. I need to wait longer after I take the medicine to eat, like 5-10 minutes so it has time to numb my throat.
2. gargling the medicine might help
3. No chloraseptic spray or commercial mouthwashes. They have a content of alcohol in them that they do not want me to have that will react weird with the radiation.
3. Stuff at room temperature would probably be better
4. Wait until the cut heals to use trays (Hallelujah)
5. get the trays cut so they fit
6. The thing with radiation the makes it work so well is that one treatment builds on the previous treatments, so just like my symptoms increase, they will gradually decrease over the coming weeks.
7. try the new things I learned today and if they don’t work, I can ask the Doctor more questions tomorrow (this is the good thing about going everyday)
8. eat bland soft food…yeah, this is where she got me

You see, I’m an eater. I like nice foods and I like flavorful foods. Maybe it is because I’m obsessed with the food channel, I like nice restaurants, or more likely because my mom is a good cook and I know what good food looks and tastes like. You see, I can read a recipe and tell you what a dish will taste like and if it is something I would like to eat. (side note, this makes eating at a new restaurant difficult because I want to read every description on the menu..yeah, I’m annoying).

So, eating bland foods without flavor is not going well. Here’s what I said to her, “Can you give me some ideas, I don’t even know what kinds of foods fall in that category”. I mean really could I be any more of a SNOB! Here’s the list:

mac and cheese..ok
creamy mashed potatoes..calories, I like it
eggs…yuck
creamy soups..warm not hot
juices…apple or grape…funny, the two kinds I don’t like
puddings…really, I can make a meal off this!!!
soft ice cream
sherbet
pureed veggies…yeah about that, I don’t do mushy
gravies…yeah, when I decided to not be a fat kid, I put these to the side, not a gravy fan
sauces…ok, I’m liking her…if you know me, everything I cook always has a sauce on it, so this might work…except I cant swallow the things that sauces cover…so that could be weird.

So, Lisa and I made a grocery list on the way home and I’m headed to Wal-mart. Here’s your homework…any suggestions on good soft foods that I might enjoy eating? Oh yeah, Popsicles were on the list too.

***update, you ask for honestly so that is why I give you all the details. This is part of my process and I know that (and, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Next Wed and radiation is over). I just write to share my experience, not for huge sympathy..although it is nice :). Just kidding. I do appreciate you reading and continuing to come back. It is a huge complement and it means so much that you care**