This post about Chasing Cows and Finding Blooms is my personal reflection of the COVID-19 in my community and processing the thoughts ruminating in my head. While it’s not my normal content, it takes me back to the roots of why I started this blog for healing and thoughts and reflections from my heart. Next week, I’ll pick back up with more of what you are used to. But, in the meantime, will you stay with me and hang out for a minute and let’s process this together.
So, a friend asked me a question a few weeks ago that I’ve been ruminating on.
What will this time be defined by for your family?
“The time” she is referring to is COVID-19, quarantine, and, social distancing. Its a tough topic and one no doubt we will be talking about for months and years to come. I feel like it will be a defining era for our children where they may not know a world of large gatherings over a certain amount, going to the grocery store without a mask, or mom not constantly pursuing drive-up or curbside food.
Our local community is seeing an uptick in the number of cases and a portion of our state has just been added to the top 10 list of expected outbreaks. Its the kind of day where I can barely take a breath and need to just write it out as I begin my personal processing and mental health healing.
I for one still have so many questions.
- Do masks help?
- Why am I the only one still wearing one?
- Why do people look at me like I’m a bank robber?
- If kids can’t get this, can they carry it?
- If they are asymptomatic, will they be carriers of something else, much greater, that we are yet to know?
- Will we ever recover?
- What will be the things that determine that?
- Why can’t everyone just follow the rules? Or suggestions?
- Why are people gathering in large groups at lakes and vacation spots?
- What will Christmas and Thanksgiving look like this year?
- Will we ever be able to go to a concert again?
- What will college football look like this year?
- What will a normal routine look like in the fall?
- Will there be any shows or movies for us to watch in six months?
- What business lessons will we learn out of this? How will families do business differently?
- If I go to LR for my doctor’s appointment in a few weeks will I be banned from locations in my community?
- If I go to Dallas to see my parents, what will be the repercussions?
- When can I cash in my birthday massage?
And, as I wrestle with my own mental health and the way I’m processing this so I can process it with the people around me, I must admit I’m still scared and wonder if our next choice of interaction is the one that will expose my nuclear family to something we are not really ready to deal with. Its a fear I have every weekend, every time I stop at a gas station for a bathroom, explore the outdoors or run into a friend at Walmart.
We use essential oils in our home. We tend to have pretty good hygiene, I take elderberry juice and Little Man chews a vitamin each day. We have tried really hard to stay to ourselves and wear masks in public. I’ve got two new nieces that I haven’t met and have never been more grateful for technology. Yet I feel like we live with so many “….” (ellipsis) in our life. Waiting for the next thing or “until then” to come along.
In one regard, it’s very freeing for a type A, firstborn, big sister to not have any long-range plans. But, not having any long-range plans make it hard for us to have something to look forward to when our weather app seems to be full of rain clouds.
You will not see me advocating for groups of people to get together. I’m still trying to figure out when it safe to see my own extended family. We do not have any vacation plans for the foreseeable future until we understand what’s open and what’s “ok”. I do think at some point, we will probably all have some form of “this” and I don’t like that. And, yes it scares me. I’m saying that out loud. This “thing” scares me and I”m not sure what to do with that.
It scares me that I have a little boy and I cannot control or clean up the world he lives in. Thankfully he is young enough we are not having some of the hard conversations others are wadding through in their home. But, we can’t really take him anywhere. He is little and puts his hands in his mouth and runs up and gives people hugs. He loves big and I can’t tie his hand to his body and go in public!
Yes, there is a lot of unknown. So many questions that cannot be answered and so many timelines that cannot be built. For me, the best thing I think we can keep doing is:
- Wear masks
- Keep distance
- Wash hands
- Don’t gather in large groups
- Make the best decision for your family – that might mean I don’t see you and you don’t see me because we disagree on how to maneuver this – and that has to be ok
- Don’t judge how each other is handling this – don’t be stupid – but know the consequences (good or bad) assigned to all our decisions
- Find a way to do a version of the things you love
- And, for the love go chase some cows!
You see, during the same time we have been distancing for COVID-19, my Little Man has been falling in love with cows – barns – horses – and all things E-I-E-I-O.
The thing that has been getting our family through, well really Little Man and I through, is a weekly outing where we go somewhere and look for all the cows. Sometimes we just see them on the side of the road and pull over. Sometimes, we keep driving and he has to look fast. Sometimes we end up at a destination that has a cow, horse, barn, or all three.
You see, these little, once a week adventures are what has been getting us through. It’s been the motivation I need to break up my week and not be all business or all toddlerville. These days have come to be the highlight of our week and the highlight reel in our family scrapbook I’m already building online. Through these outings, I’ve heard Little Man use new words and build sentences. He has learned how to explore and run free. He has gone from making baby sounds of animals to full-blown imitators that should be making me some movie money.
Our weekly outings have looked like finding a place with “big grass” and no or very few other people. We have been leery to share our destinations for the sake of being found and luring in a new company. In South Arkansas, it’s not hard to find a route with a big field and a few heads of cattle. Some days we have found riverside spots with “cold watters,” and found new locations for “back car” picnics – a new tradition that is our favorite.
Early on, during one of our weekend adventures, my husband and I wrote out a list of things we used to establish our Arkansas Bucketlist; destinations or experiences we wanted to pursue and scratch off. One of those for me is seeing the big 1839 Magnolia Tree at Old Washington in full bloom. I’m determined this year to make it happen. So, while Little Man has been chasing cows, I’m finding blooms. We are so super close. We have driven over a couple of times just to see if its time and while it’s getting close, I’m even convinced this might be the week, we have not seen it in full bloom yet.
For me, it’s a sacred thing I want to capture. One of my most favorite things in life is being with someone when they experience something for the first time. Whether that’s tasting new food, finding a new adventure, or learning a new skill, I love the hype of “new.” So, I’m all in an committed to marking these items off our Arkansas Bucketlist.
- Seeing the Magnolia Tree in full bloom
- Van Buren train (maybe even Polar Express)
- Visit all the National Parks in Arkansas – we have 2 left
- Lakeport Plantation when cotton is blooming
- Batesville Christmas Lights
- Attend a re-enactment
- DONE – Visit Mount Magazine
- DONE – Explore Blanchard Springs
- Tour Toltec Mounds
- Weekend at Coulter Farmstead
- Tour the wineries when the fields are full of grapes – sunset pictures, maybe
Wow – cows, horses, blooms, questions. Geeze I’m all over the place.
Here’s my point. There is so much we do not know. And, that’s ok. Or at least, for now, it’s going to have to be. But, don’t let this hold you back or spiral into a crazy space. Eventually we will get enough information to know when and how we can interact with our family and communities. We will each continue and need to continue in ways we feel comfortable. For now, that means standing 6ft away from each other with masks on and picking up my groceries and to-go food from my favorite local spots. We will chase sunshine and cows and blooms and find a new way where we make memories, count our blessings, and journey on.
Some other things I’ve developed during Social Distancing time that are getting us through:
- Quarantine Activities for Kids and Adults – it’s a great list, it went a little viral back in April
- 50+ Tried and True Family Meals
- Ultimate List of Virtual Experiences in Arkansas – posted on Onlyinark.com
- Relaxing and Restoring Bath Salts – a great gift
- An Open Letter to Graduates – Big Sister Chat Style
- Paper Crafts to Work on Toddler Skills
- DIY Recycled Can Wind Chime
