I woke up this morning with snot rags in my sheets. Which, I’m guessing is a sign of a rough night and that it was. Without going into details and trying to draw sympathy votes I want to say this.

I mourned.

Part 3 of the bigpittstop is documenting the journey of a single girl in a new city with a new job learning what a new life feels like in a new place. And by documenting, I mean being honest.

For anyone who has been there, you know what it feels like.

Today I heard from a friend that I was on her heart last night. Now I can tell you that I’ll never over look that feeling. There is something in the heart that urges us. Beckons us to draw close to the Creator. The one who molded and made our heart.

Most days Prince of Peace is my favorite name of Jesus. In our hectic, busy, personally draining world, peace is something I crave. Something my heart is always seeking. Mostly because i don’t think i really know how peace is defined.

Is peace contentment, complacency, or continuity? Is peace a quiet night at home, sitting on a sandy beach or hiking to a mountain top perch? Is peace having answers or wide open spaces?

Definitions of peace are listed as the absence of war or conflict and while its hard for me to think about emotional weapons of mass destruction, I’m most often seeking peace of mind, peace in my heart and soul. And when I evaluate my inner thoughts and emotions, WW3 breaks out once a week.

So, my next steps of healing involve evaluating my trigger points. What influences my mind racing to unhealthy and destructive places? How do I stop them? How do I control them? How do move past them?

Tonight it will be the same thing it was last night. Prayer.

When answers aren’t enough there is Jesus and I need thee every hour were my lullabies last night. In thee I will seek refuge yet again.