I totally cannot take credit for any of these, but I was sent this today and it was too good not to share with…well, the world!

Random Thoughts for the Day:

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history when you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Just how the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning “cursive” really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. …I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood…
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you HOW the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least “kind of tired.”
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this — ever….
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? …Drop the phone and immediately drive to Walmart?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
18. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Happy Monday!