so, I’m having a little issue. This weekend, we had a monsoon. This is no surprise to many of you, because where ever you are, you most likely had one too. But, the monsoon brought a tragedy to my house. No, not what you are thinking.
I spent most of the day Saturday scrapbooking in my living room in front of the TV. I had dinner plans that night, so I got ready and left my house, locked the front door and turned around only to find an ankle deep puddle of water at the bottom of my steps. Ok, so no big deal. I cautiously waded around it, down my front sidewalk and turned right on the main side walk to get to my driveway. (typically I walk through the yard when it is not a mud pit!)
I was stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a very upsetting sight. There on the sidewalk in front of my house was a crime scene. A murder scene if you really want me to be honest. Get ready… turned on its side was a beautiful birds nest that had fallen from the tree above. Next to it was the remains of a cracked up beautiful turquoise shell. I was so sad!
It was so obvious that it was a baby robin egg that had fallen to its demise. I felt like I had done something wrong. Like I was entrusted with a little baby bird and I did not protect it. I know that birds and animals may not feel like we do as humans about our off spring, but I couldn’t help but imagine that there was a mommy bird that was upset.
First, she had spent the day and night before being drenched by the rain. I can’t help but think that it would be annoying to be a bird on a day like that. Yes, spring mornings are wondrous and they can just sit and sing and talk to each other. But, a rainy, wet Saturday where your only living environment is to just weather the storm. Yuck! No thanks. I’m glad I don’t believe in reincarnation. I can think of many things that I would not want to come back as and a bird is one of them.
Second, she lost her home. It may seem minuscule to relate it to the desolation that a hurricane or tornado can bring, but relatively speaking, the weather changed her entire living environment. It up rooted her, moved her from where she had called home, called comfort and peace. Gone, knocked down by the storm and laying there on the sidewalk to just be viewed by everyone. It was really sad. And, what’s more is that it just kept getting rained on. Over, and over and over and even now three days later…more rain poured over it. So annoying, if only I could build a home that could withstand the storm.
And then, laying there beside it was her baby. I almost can’t type these words. I know it sounds silly, but I don’t know what to do with it. I’ve always been told not to touch a birds nest because the mama will not come back. But, I don’t want her to come back. If she hasn’t seen what happened, I don’t want her too. How awful. How sad for her. I feel like I need to have a burial and dig a little tomb and put the egg shells in it, but I don’t do goo. And, that’s what it looks like. I guess I could get my shovel out and scoop it up, but part of me likes walking by it as I come and go. I like the reminder that things aren’t always good, that they aren’t always the way we want them to be, that they don’t always happen the way we want them to. But, it makes me sad.
I don’t know what to do and if the weather would ever quit, I might be able to think about a proper burial. I’m so torn, so sad, and I know I need to remove the reminder, but for some reason, I like it.
I promised a friend that I wouldn’t post a picture of it, but I want you to hurt with me, to be sad with me. I don’t like to share burdens alone. And, I feel like there is so much imagery and analogy in this situation. I guess that’s part of why I want to leave it there. I want to learn from it. I like to learn from others mistakes and maybe keep myself from experiencing things. So, I guess for now, I will leave it there, and I will walk past it as I come and go and I will see what I can learn. What I can draw from it.
I’m sad my sweet birdie, that I didn’t even know I had, is gone. He didn’t even have a name! I’m sorry I didn’t provide you a safe environment to grow in.
**UPDATE** The rain last night washed the egg parts away, but the nest is still there. How how I wish the storm would be over.