Well, I have felt SO good the last two days. I went in late today. I woke up and just knew I needed more sleep if I was going to make it through. Sleep is such a healing medicine! It helped tremendously. Honestly, I really felt like myself today. And when I said something stupid, I had “chemo brain” to blame it on. I am so fortunate.
I will admit, this mornings chapel was super moving. It started off with over 90 student athletes marching out on stage. Our Men’s and Women’s Swimming and Diving teams made it to Nationals, our Men’s Basketball team were Co-Conference Champions and made the schools first appearance at the NCAA tournament and beat the host team in the first round, our Nationally ranked Men’s tennis team just competed in the Conference Championship and our Men’s baseball team will play in the opening game of the conference tournament this coming weekend. If you know me, you know my heart belongs to the Tigers and it was really overwhelming to realize how God has blessed our athletic program this Spring and to be so proud of so many students. Then, one of the girls I recruited has headed up a fundraising effort that our President challenged our student body with. At the first chapel of the semester, he challenged our students to raise $10,000 over the course of the semester to build wells for women and orphan children in a village of Zimbabwe. Well, as our students do so well, they exceeded the challenge in the last week and this morning it was announced that over $13,000 has been raised. What an amazing thing. Some our students and a local church will be able to take this money on a trip this summer to that village in Zimbabwe and help purchase a drill that will be able to drill wells for many months to come. Moments like that are overwhelming when you realize your job is to recruit students to come to a place that will not only change their lives, but use them to make a difference in the lives of people across the globe from them.
The last two nights I have not been able to sleep and it looks like since it is 12:16 right now, that this may be another. It might be the steroid, but on Sunday night, I had a conversation with the Lord that went something like this: “Ok, Lord I know you are keeping me awake for some reason (I had laid here for 2 hours). So, since that probably means that we have something to talk about, can we get to it…I’m really tired. (Leave it to me to get sassy with the Lord…but hey, He created me, He knows what He is dealing with)” Honestly, I’m not really sure why I couldn’t sleep, but I took advantage of the moments to just praise Him. I thanked him for the opportunity of this experience, for the ways He is already using me and that He will receive the glory, for my amazing friends and the way He has surrounded me with very specific people, for allowing me to not be sick in ways that would be so common, for giving me great parents who are able to come see me and take care of me, and so many more things. Then, I just took a few moments and ran praise songs through my head. Now, I will admit there was a selfish part of me that went to the praise song part. I remember as a girl, not being able to sleep and getting frustrated and telling my dad and he would say (get ready this will make you laugh out loud, especially if you know my dad and his heart for worship), “that is Satan trying to keep you awake, so either pray, or sing praises to Jesus. Satan doesn’t like that and he will leave you alone.”
What a great promise to grow up knowing. So, that’s what I did. One of the songs that came to my mind on Sunday night was Be Thou My Vision. I was already tearing up when I saw the stream of students piling on stage this morning (I’m pretty weepy), then Katelyn gave the report about the Zimbabwe trip and I leaned over to one of my co-workers who was with me and said I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it through the rest of this. And I was right. The piano starts playing and the first verse of Be Thou My Vision pops up on the screen. No way! I was pumped. I couldn’t remember all the words in my sleep, but how amazing, with the Ouachita family to sing it. The second song we sang was With All My Heart. Again, another promise of God’s amazing love and intervention in our lives. I still don’t know how people go through life suspecting that chance puts things together and that there is not a plan. Again, I’m a fan of coincidence and will take advantage of it, but I know for a fact that it alone cannot be the reason for believing in chance.
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.