Do we really have to make everything so difficult?
I’ve had one of those days where I just don’t understand why we have to make it so hard to do something that should be so simple every single day. Maybe its just me getting through a new stage of life where everything that was super easy (like throwing away trash or donating items to a non-profit store or hooking up the phone or the internet not working, bleh). Maybe its just a frustration, but I just can’t figure out why we have to put these barriers in the way of people helping us.
I just made a phone call to a local….store, that takes donations and they told me that they couldn’t take my donations. Now, what they really said was they couldn’t come get the stuff I have to give them. I realize I could drive the items across town, but some of the items I have are big, bigger than space I have to put them in my car. But, I want to give it to them.
What’s even crazier is in the next few weeks, I’m guest posting for the
same organization in a different part of the state about how easy it was
to donate my items to them and how helpful they were when I called to
donate things before I moved. So, when I moved to my new city guess who
was my first place to call?
The actual conversation went like this. “Well, we could if we had someone here with a pick up to come get it or if we had the time. But, we are just behind and so short handed we just can’t do that.” I proceeded to let her know I was not asking for her to come today, but I wanted to see if there was a regular process they had to pick up items, large household items, people wanted to give them. She took my number and told me the day they had a person with a pickup and some time, she would call me.
Having been someone who worked at a couple non-profit before I’m always struck by the thought of why we make it so difficult for people to do things to help us…
…maybe we even do this in our own lives. Its not just other people or organizations. Maybe we do it ourselves, too.
I’ve been thinking through the layers of things that being married begin to reveal and one of those is the “rules” I have for the ways people can help me. Rules for the ways things go in the dishwasher. Rules for how close we can be. Rules for the way I want clothes folded. And, am I so stuck in those that I can’t let someone help me get them done.
I’m really trying hard, as a new little wifey, to not make it so difficult for my sweet hubby to help me. I came home last night from meeting some new friends and the sink was empty and the dishwasher was running (and I didnt even ask him). But, I couldn’t let panic ensue about how many cups were on the top shelf or if the plates were all facing “the right” way. He just did it, loaded the dishwasher. I haven’t even opened it, but I’m sure everything in there is fine. The kitchen was spotless, the sink had those sparkle dots in it and I didn’t have to lift a finger.
It all got washed and I’ll get it all put away.
I just have to think, “someone helped me.” And, that’s ok. And, I’m grateful.
I can’t be so particular or so stuck in where something goes or how it goes that someone can’t help me. This is something new that I”m going to have to learn because as I share life with someone, sometimes the bed is not going to be made like I want it to…or maybe even not at all. Or, the thing I needed my husband to get out of a file for me this morning so I could mail it, he didn’t get it for me. And, as grumpy as I got about it, you know what? I went in there and I got it for myself and I put it where I needed it to be able to do what I needed to do.
So, I’m learning a lot about this, “you don’t have to do it yourself” or “you don’t have to always do it your way” or “within my rules and boundaries” mantra single Keisha got to live in. But, I think that has way less to do with being married and more about being vulnerable and inviting someone in to my world. Yielding your “usuals” to allow them an opportunity to be part of your mundane.
Its ok to let someone else in and help you. And, whether that’s folding clothes and putting laundry away or mowing the yard or a craft project where everything isn’t perfectly straight, it only matters that you were vulnerable enough to invite someone in to help you.
Dear non-profit, quit making it hard for people to give you money (or things you can get for free to sell to make money to do the programs you need to do).
Dear self, its ok to let someone else help you and do it their way. It won’t be perfect, but it will be done. And, you are going to survive. You are going to learn this lesson and then move on!
(PS, I did this whole blog post from dictation while on a back road between AR and OK yesterday. I’m already afraid of how bad my accent is going to get down….especially when I listen to a playback of myself complaining. My desires of ever doing a podcast probably just went out the window. My sarcasm sure has a twang!)
This post is part of the #NWArkCares series by the
Northwest Arkansas Bloggers group. To view other posts, visit the Northwest
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