Day 8 – 5 things most important to you in a mate

So, I’m just picking and choosing what I want to talk about on these topics.  Just for full exposure, I’m skipping:
-biggest fear as a single person- this was covered mostly in my first 2 posts…otherwise its walking to my car in a dark parking lot
-the biggest misconception people have about single life – I may come back
-thoughts on the quote “every woman has the exact love life she wants” – def coming back…building a bigger soap box.  The one I have is not big enough to hold the words…kinda already his this…I’m old school, MAN UP!
-where you are in life vs. where you thought you would be – skipping bc I’m more grateful for the experiences I’m learning from trying to understand “obedience” and “surrender” in the context of what God’s grand journey of life can bring

So, I land to today – 5 things most important in a future mate:

1.  He loves the Lord.  Sometimes I say if he loves Jesus and loves me, then the rest can be figured out.  But, the core of who I am is built on what Jesus did for me on the cross and I strive to live in light of that influence in my life. 

2. He can love me – every single day.  Like, I want him to love me, but like me too.  I want him to want to hang out with me.  To sit in silence and to talk for hours.  To want to show the world he loves me and yet not gross them out.  To love who I am and not try to morph me into to something else.  Let’s be honest, at this point, I’m set and just who I am.  I want to be a better version of myself, but I’m sure not interested in being forced to be something else.

3. his reputation – what his friends, co-workers and my friends think about him. I want people to love him.  To love being around him.  To be impressed by the way he lives his life.  The way he gives and treats others.  I wanna know how he treats his mama and respects his dad.  If he is a boss, what is he like to work for?  If he is a team member, what do his co-workers say about him.  What is the gut reaction of my best girl friends?

4. ambition – does he live by a driven spirit? I could care less about the money.  I think those details work out when you find how to give to the world.  But, does he want to be better.  Do better.  Love more abundantly. 

5. adventure and playful spirit – too much of life is too serious.  I want someone to just play with.  Explore life with.  One who doesn’t want to fall to the status quo.  I want a guy who likes to try new things.  Embark on a road trip.  Take the scenic route just in case we might find the most amazing view. Someone who will stop and eat at the skanky looking restaurant because its probably one of those “local dives”.

What I seem to find out about myself is that this list has morphed.  Back in the day I could sit down and make a list of 30 things.  I think with time you learn that much of the silly stuff doesn’t matter.  And, when you try to reason the why behind the “item”, it takes on a little more meaning.  I kinda think beyond these 5, the rest are just bonus items!

You know, I’m not really looking for the guy who completes me.  I mean yes, it will be nice to be someone’s “other half”.  But I don’t NEED a man.  I want someone that I WANT to spend my life with.  That’s a big break through for me.  For a long time I thought I needed someone to complete me.  To make me fill whole.  And instead I realized that a relationship is about  2 people bringing 100%.  Yes, some days we have to give more than our 100, but its not about it “adding up to 100”.  We have to be fully ourselves and bring all of that. 

What about you?  Do you think if you had gotten married later in life you might have looked for other things or less specific from what you searched for in your mate?

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